Welcome to Fucking
While on my Round The World trip, people ask me “So where have you been so far?”. As fun as it is to tell people all the cities and countries I’ve been to on this trip, nothing compares to a little town in Austria I visited: Fucking, Austria. That’s right. You got it. Fucking. Just Fucking. No phonetic or funny spelling, just good ol straight up Fucking.
Located about 4KM from the German Border, Fucking is easily accessible from a few popular travel destinations. Fucking lies about 40KM NNW of Salzburg Austria, and about 130KM directly east of Munich Germany.
Making the 45 minute Fucking drive from Salzburg was quite easy. (FYI, if you have a Sat Nav or GPS, you’ll easily be able to find your way and get straight to Fucking) Pulling into Fucking, you marvel at the Fucking scenery. You’re surrounded by Fucking fields that seem to go on for miles, or Fucking miles in this case. The Fucking weather was great the day I visited and there were only a few clouds dotting the Fucking skyline making it a perfect Fucking day. So, I could just roam in the Fucking sun without a care in the world. Even with the beautiful Fucking weather and scenery, I was surprised how small Fucking was. With a town name like Fucking, you would think there would be a lot of Fucking children running around, playing games in the Fucking streets. But no. It is quite small. There were only maybe 12 Fucking houses that I could see. I asked a local Fucking resident who was walking down the main Fucking road about how small the town was. He responded “Yeah, we’re very small… or as we like to tell people, Fucking small”. Interesting. I thought he was really nice. The Fucking hospitality was amazing.
Upon getting further into the Fucking town centre, I stumbled upon a few interesting things. Firstly, a Fucking cow. Right on the side of a Fucking road! AND, it actually came over to greet us (see what I mean about Fucking hospitality? Even the Fucking animals are nice!).
I took a few pictures of the Fucking cow, although not before getting zapped by a Fucking electrical fence! Ouch.
It actually really hurt. I think they had the voltage cranked up to their own Fucking standards. It hurt so much, whenever I experience pain like that again, I’ll definitely remember the painful Fucking experience I had. Anyway, right beside the Fucking cow was what seemed to be the only Fucking apple tree.
I have to say, the Fucking Apple tree produced a really great tasting apple. So sweet and juicy, I’ll forever remember that Fucking apple.
Standing in the main Fucking Intersection was a little odd, because I think you could see every Fucking house in the town. Oddly, the only Fucking business we could see was the Fucking Hair Salon.
I was told that if you go there, you’ll get a real authentic Fucking hair style. After looking at the photos in the window, I passed. I definitely didn’t want a Fucking hair cut like that. I’d end up looking like a Fucking woman! Upon further inspection, I must say… the Fucking people really took care of their Fucking houses.
They all seemed cleaner than usual. To a higher standard. So I guess you could say they were Fucking clean.
Anyway, I saw which appeared to be the only Fucking trampoline in sight. However, much to my dismay, there were no Fucking kids jumping on it.
I guess they were all playing inside in their Fucking clean houses.
There wasn’t much Fucking action at this point, so I was about to leave when all of a sudden… I was greeted once again by another Fucking animal, this time a Fucking cat!
Wow, I could get used to this Fucking hospitality I tell ya. Before you know it, a Fucking Kid came out of nowhere on her bike!
From there, I thought I saw a Fucking Windmill, but it turns out that it is just outside the Fucking town limits.
I think the Fucking residents should build their own Fucking windmill. It would add even more Fucking character to their Fucking landscape.
All this Fucking excitement was getting to be a little overwhelming, so I decided to leave. Not before passing a Fucking farmer in his Fucking clean tractor cutting one of the Fucking fields.
Man, the Fucking work ethic these Fucking people have is second to none.
After everything was said and done, I have to say – I really love Fucking. Nothing compares to Fucking, honestly! If you’re going to do anything in Austria, Fucking should definitely be at the top of your list of things to do. All jokes aside, I really suggest you try Fucking on for size. You really won’t be disappointed with Fucking. I think Fucking was one of the most beautiful things I did while in Europe. I guarantee that when you’re done with Fucking, you’ll leave very pleased. Why? It’s all because of Fucking.
I love Fucking so much!
On that note, I can’t wait to visit Dildo, Newfoundland Canada.
P.S. People from New York, NY are New Yorkers. So what is a resident of Fucking called? I have no idea. My best guess is: a Fucker. Or, if you’re female, and have children: A Mother Fucker. But who really knows? They’re just a bunch of Fuckers who live there. Really really nice Fuckers.